5.  Reverse mentoring and reciprocal renegotiation vs. socialization/acculturation[i]

Relationships in mentoring communities, even though they involve the same individuals, differ from parent-child relations and teacher-student relations in that they are more egalitarian and also include some aspects of reverse mentoring in which older adults are mentored by emerging adults.

 A common definition of the relationship between members of the older and younger generation is that it is characterized by socialization and acculturation.  In this relationship according to this definition, older people like parents and teachers introduce younger people into an existing society or culture.  The influence flows in one direction, from older to younger. 

 One may wonder whether this definition of the relationship is still valid in today’s world.  In this world parents and teachers are no longer the only ones socializing young people.  They are not even the most important socializers.  Increasingly, mass media personalities, fashion style trendsetters and recording artists have a much greater impact on the life choices and styles of emerging adults.  In addition, the influence of peers via social network technologies is pervasive in their lives. Moreover, the reach of all these influences is worldwide, cross cultural and global in its impact.    

In addition, given the fact that we live in an age of rapid social and cultural change, young people are often more aware of the direction in which the world is going than their parents or teachers.  All this argues for the proposition that mentorship should be augmented by reverse mentorship.  Young people also have things they can teach older people, for instance about the future of information technology.

So, the relationship between the older and the younger generations should be interactive, mutually supportive and mutually influencing. In short, it should be one of ongoing reciprocal renegotiation about the shape of a common culture and society.  However, no amount of talking with young people will by itself promote intergenerational concord unless we are willing to include twenty-something young people in the running of the world, either in a leadership, or in an apprenticeship role.  My long-standing motto about young people has been: “Don’t do anything for them.  Give them something to do!”

---

[i] Creps, E.G. 2008 Reverse Mentoring, How Young Leaders Can Transform the Church and why we should let them.  San Francisco, Ca.: Jossey-Bass.