Tuesday, October 2, 2012


4.  The importance of mentoring relationships and communities for emerging adults[i]

In my experience the best way to promote intergenerational communication in society is through mentoring relationships.  In such relationships an older person cultivates a close friendship relationship with a younger person to the mutual benefit of both.  A mentoring relationship is more egalitarian than a parent-child, or a teacher-student relationship.  In such relationships both learn from one another and both are changed by the other.

There is a general consensus in the literature that emerging adults benefit greatly from a mentoring relationship with a member of the older generation.  A mentorship relationship is one, which provides company for emerging adults, which shows respect and caring towards them, and which supports, challenges and inspires them in a context of ongoing dialogue with them.  Older adults in these mentoring relationships relate to emerging adults in such a way that both their strengths and their vulnerabilities are acknowledged.

Mentoring relationships between older and younger people are made possible by the fact that older and younger generations need each other and complement one another.  This is evident from parent-child relations and teacher-student relations.  Children cannot grow up unless parents nurture them and students don’t learn unless teachers teach them.  But the converse is also true: parents cannot be parents unless they have children to raise, and teachers cannot teach if there are no students to educate.  Generations complement each other and that is an important fact to note when dealing with intergenerational communication.

When enough of these relationships have been established, a society takes on the character of what Daloz-Parks calls a mentoring community.  Mentoring communities such as families, schools, places of work and churches provide much the same mentoring services to these young people in a communal fashion.  The tasks of mentoring communities toward emerging adults, mentioned in the literature are manifold, but they all appear to come down to encouraging them to grow up with foresight and vision.  In an ongoing authentic dialogue with them mentoring communities are to show hospitality to their potential of becoming.  Older adults in these communities are expected to recognize and honour the strengths of emerging adults but also to challenge them to face their problems.  Mentoring communities give emerging adults practical support and a place to belong.  Most of all they are expected to anchor the promise of their future by providing them with an inspiration for the long haul.  In the main, mentoring communities offer emerging adults security for the time being and a viable hope and vision for the years to come.    

Mentoring relationships and communities envelop emerging adults into a network of belonging in which they feel safe to wrestle with the big questions of life and in which they feel free to explore worthy dreams about their future.  In these communities they can come to terms with the paradoxical nature of human life, where things are hardly ever as they ought to be and in which they can practice some of the skills they need to function as contributing adults in the society in which they live.  



[i] Daloz-Parks, S. 2000 Big Questions, Worthy Dreams. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.


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