2.     Differences between emerging adults and their parents of the boomer generation[i]

There are major differences today between emerging adults and their boomer parents that transcend normal differences as a result of education.  These differences can become obstacles within intergenerational communication.  A description of few of the more obvious differences follows below.

As compared to their parents, emerging adults tend to:

·       settle down into marriage and start a family about a decade later

·       spend a longer time in school and have more education

·       be more invested and proficient in information technology

·       be future oriented and have less interest in history

·       be collaborative rather than competitive

·       be given to indirect/ironic communication styles

·       be pluralistic in their outlook on life

·       have a tinkering, cut-and paste, remix attitude toward the world

·       surf the net rather than read books

·       scroll, skim, scan for information

·       multitask and range widely rather than focus

·       value diversity, dialogue, tolerance, interaction and inclusion

·       favour unimpeded personal expression over privacy 

·       be relationship rather than task oriented

·       be committed to virtual, rather than face-to-face communication

·       spend much of their time social networking (texting, tweeting, blogging) their peers

·       send and read only instantaneous, interactive, and brief communication items, (TL;DR: Too long; Didn’t read)  

·       value personal authenticity and relational transparency in interaction with others

·       be progressive and democratic in their outlook on life

·       distrust established institutions and persons in power

Perhaps the most fundamental way in which emerging adults differ from their parents is that their lives are by and large characterized by the integrity of questioning rather than by the certainty of knowing.  They are voracious researchers.  Theirs is a probing generation.  They view testing as an authentic place to stand.  They like to live on the edge, to try new things, to walk in a space of not knowing, to believe something tentatively for the time being to see where it leads them.  They are receptive to otherness, welcoming of diversity, open to dialogue, and willing to change their minds.  They believe that all points of view are inevitably subject to revision and doubt that there are many prefabricated truths worthy to live by.  To them almost everything is (still) up for grabs.  

By way of contrast, their parents have a stake in maintaining that some things must be true no matter what.  They feel uncomfortable with so much openness and uncertainty.  It has taken them years to craft a credible way of living of their own and they feel that their life style is currently under attack.  They secretly want their children to adopt their values and their lifestyle, to accept their worldview and follow in their footsteps but see very little evidence that this is happening.  It is troubling for many parents to watch their children’s lives go in a direction that is quite different from their own. 

However, it appears that most parents keep these worries to themselves and that they generally give their children a great deal of latitude in shaping their own destiny.  Moreover, there actually is much that these children admire about the lifestyle of their parents, such as their work ethic and their willingness to sacrifice.  Notwithstanding their concerns, their parents also continue to support their children during their twenties, especially when they are still in school.

As for the way today’s emerging adults view their parents, they may disagree with elements in their lifestyle, but most of them see no need to openly voice their criticisms. Thus, the relationship between today’s emerging adults and their parents is surprisingly close and relatively free from conflict.  All this entails, however, that there is little dialogue happening between today’s emerging adults and their parents about life’s most fundamental issues.  The best they can come up with, it seems, is a peaceful co-existence between two solitudes.

It is said that today the lifestyles of the younger and the older generations differ so widely from one another that they might as well be living in different worlds.  Yet, as a matter of fact these generations populate the same planet, belong to the same society, live in each other’s homes or neighbourhoods and actually are meant to complement each other.  How are they to relate to and to communicate with one another?